What's in a Name?

Friday, May 16, 2008

“By any other name would smell as sweet;So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,Retain that dear perfection which he owesWithout that title. Romeo, doff thy name,And for that name which is no part of theeTake all myself.”
Act 2, Scene 2 Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

I can't lie, in the beginning I was so excited to give up my last name to take Al's, despite the insanity I know I will endure becoming a Przygocki.

And then, I kinda started to have this sadness over losing my identity. I started to realize how much I use, write, state, acknowledge my last name on a daily basis. For the last 26 years I've been Alicia Jeannine Benson and despite the emotional disconnection I have chosen with my last name, the practical side is mourning. I mean, I'll have to completely change my signature, my name won't just "flow" anymore, I'll have to legally change my entire "on paper" identity with various legal and personal institutions. It will just be a complete hassle to say the least.
I wish I could avoid pulling the feminist card and making the argument of why do I have to change MY name. To be honest, I really do wonder about this and thus can understand the increasing popularity of hyphenating. However, with the new last name of Przygocki, I'm thinking I've already got enough on my plate.
When our friends Scott and Alden got married, they broached this same subject.
Luckily for them, the last names were easily "hypen-atable"....or something

So Al and I got to talking about the concept of women taking their husband's last names and the cohesiveness it creates for the family. I think that's a pretty good argument, but the feminist in me still wants to buck tradition. Even though I'm absolutely taking Al's last name, a part of me is sad for the loss of an old identity.....but incredibly grateful for the start of a new one.